Begin at the Beginning

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

--The King of Hearts, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

True to Carrollian (?) form, I am not following that advice. We will get to the beginning eventually, but I am desperate to start in the middle. This will interest only some of you:

How to treat Foot Warts...Or, "How it Worked for Me"

TWO THINGS:
1. Dr. Scholl's^® Clear Away^® Plantar Wart Remover
2.  Four-in-One Foot Wand

Both of these items were purchased at Walmart. Make sure you get the Dr. Scholl's product shown in the picture. I have tried their "Freeze Away," "Ultra-Thin Discs," and Compound-W's wart bandages. NOTHING stays on like like Dr. Scholls' medicated discs and cushioning pads. I left them on for 48 hours at a time--through showers and workouts and everything. I wore socks over them and pantyhose, too, nothing rips those suckers off. When I took off the cushioning disc, there would be this awesome crater with a little black pinhead in it (the wart!). This is where the 4-in-1 pumice stone comes in. I would scrub the dickens out of each stupid wart and I am telling you those boogers were gone in a month. This is the point where I would say my wart treatments "got aggressive." I would also spray Lysol disinfectant into my shoes every evening when I came home from work and took them off. I never went barefoot in the house and I wore socks to bed, too--didn't want to spread to hubby. THE SCRUBBING MADE THE DIFFERENCE. The skin turns white (like when you have dead skin on your feet) and it really helps the salicylic acid get in there when you slough away the dead stuff. I used all four sides of the scrubbing tool--starting with the most abrasive and then progressing to the least.

The process I am describing never hurt at all. It sounds like I am telling you to buy a thing that will eat through your feet and you will be fine. Well, I guess I am, because that's how it happened for me. The only time I ever had pain on my foot skin was if I picked at the dead skin like a psycho third grader and went too far and pulled off pink flesh, too. I am telling you I was exercising and showering through this whole process and it didn't hurt. NOTHING worked like the Dr. Scholl's + scrubbing.

I saw a podiatrist for the warts on my feet (there were at least a dozen on one foot--if you've ever had them, you know how quickly they spread) and he prescribed an oral medication called Tagamet. It's a heartburn medication and he said one of the side effects is that is pushes warts out from the inside. I don't feel like it helped at all. It's available over-the-counter, however, so if that's what you're into, go for it. He also prescribed a vial of Compound-W for me to paint on each wart. I found this process to be time-consuming, plus you needed a partner to help with the harder-to-reach warts. The lacquer stunk and once you opened the bottle, it started congealing inside. It dried white and flaky and I felt like it just didn't stay on long enough for my money.

The reason I am sharing this with you is because I mentioned to a friend of mine that I had warts on my feet and she asked me how I was treating them because her husband did, too, and she wanted to know what worked. I am writing this blog because foot warts are super common and someday they may happen to you and I don't want you to waste your time and money wondering if your feet are going to fall off while you pray for a cure!

Love you!